Chasing Perfection: Wilma Banks Temple Portrait

Being a perfectionist when working creatively can be frustrating or it can be full of a sense of overwhelming awesomeness. As an artist perfection most times is a fleeting feeling at best. Most artists doubt their ability and worth so we see ourselves only through our latest work or our last fulfilling project. Perfection sometimes is that intense moment of glee out of nowhere mid mark making just as you reach for lavender instead of green following instinctively one's own creative energy or "voice" from your soul instead of years of academic training.
Perhaps it is not perfection we seek? Perhaps it's chasing an idealized sense of self represented on paper?
Or whatever media we use to tell our story? Someone once said we only draw ourselves over and over. I'm not sure if that is true but I'd like to think I see myself in all my portrait work, and in that sense I am painting myself. Drawing and Painting my grandmothers portrait seemed like the end of the experience of processing her death but really now it seems like just a footnote to a greater story. A story that I haven't even begun to draw.
Art is weird like that sometimes. We think we are simply drawing shapes and lines but in reality art can heal, touch others and move people to tears or simply make sense of confusing issues in our lives. I was so eager to draw my grandmothers portrait without giving a thought to all the emotions that it would bring up.Of course I thought I might cry but I really didn't consider all the memories and life lessons she taught me and how powerful missing someone can be? I hope the painting allows any viewer "in" enough to consider her life.

I normally draw a black and grey version of a portrait  then paint a color version. This time I painted in color first because I wanted to paint a background of red roses. I wasn't sure and still am not sure how I feel about the portrait. Being a perfectionist I decided to draw a black and grey version. I most likely will draw her again in black and grey with roses but that will be later. If painting a portrait of Wilma Banks Temple has been me actually painting myself it has also been me chasing perfection. Hoping that even just a little piece of her is in my character and in my being. Here are photos of the final color version and the black and grey version of her portrait.

Portrait of Wilma Banks Temple

My grandmother was a tall buxom women with copper brown skin,deep dark brown eyes and broad shoulders. She had long black silky hair and her face was splashed with freckles. Although we laughed alot when relaxed she rarely smiled. My grandmother always wore hat and gloves when we went out and mostly made her own clothes. She came from a family of tailors so you would never know even her overcoat was hand sewn. What I remember most was holding her hand when crossing the street as a kid and her constantly telling me to hurry up,"walk in front of me". I often wondered why she wasn't as fascinated by her shadow as I was with mine? If I walked in front of her it seemed to get lost in the crowds of people scurrying past. My grandmother was also my protector and guide. I never worried or thought about getting lost or not knowing where I was as she carefully pointed out every street sign and bus number so that I could navigate our weekly day trips along with her.Moving in and out of stores or museums  I could count on her hand on my shoulder or even simply reach up without looking and clasp her hand always ready to envelope mine.

 I sat with her a long while the Tuesday before she died and held her hand and sang to her trying to comfort myself as much as I felt I was comforting her. I told her,"it's okay to go Grandma".
"We are alright." She died just a few days later and my cousin tells me she saw her brother and sister come to take her home. I'm happy knowing she had someone to lead her this time and that she was not alone.

Painting and drawing her likeness has been difficult but mostly bittersweet and sometimes funny because I'll get a flood of childhood memories and start laughing until I cry. Wilma Banks Temple was one of kind. Here are a few more photos of her painting in-progress.

Portrait of my Grandmother continued...

It's hard not to try and draw "better" or without flaws but to tell you the truth as an artist that way of thinking usually leads to disaster. One has to start with an open mind and without expectations and to let what happens just happen to get the "true" expression or to relay what one is feeling and or wants to say.
My portrait of my Grandmother started out as a tribute but really I want it to just feel like her. It's hard to do.
She was like my anchor. She kept my moorings  tight and me headed in the right direction without even speaking a word.

I knew her expectations and standards of me and how I was to conduct myself. Wilma Banks would make me laugh with her unabashed honesty and wit and frustrate me with her child-like stubbornness. Sometimes both at the same time. As I became an adult I learned the value in that quality she had to make me laugh all the while taking a stand or a position on a topic(usually my life) that she would not budge on...I could talk to her about anything and often did. Even if I just went to her apartment and talked in circles she listened. Always with love and laughter she would set my heart and mind at ease and even if I left her small antique packed place without any answers I knew I had a friend,a confidant and someone who was rooting for me. Even if all I did was stop over and just sit with her and have a cup of tea and watch the Frugal Gourmet with the volume turned way to high I knew there was a bouy just peaking above  the break in any wave of my life and if I started to sink she would hold me up. Here are a few more pics of my drawing. They do not do Wilma Banks Temple justice.

Wilma Banks Temple: Portrait of my Grandmother

It took me forever to even sit down and write this. To wrap my head around writing about and sharing publicly personal thoughts and drawings about my Grandmother. Some of my very first memories are of being in her small apartment above a grocery store on Rumrill street in Richmond/San Pablo. It had maple or pine wood plank stairs along the side of the building adjacent to a gravel parking lot. There was a small grocery or bait store down stairs. I couldn't have been more than 4 years old. I even remember what I was wearing and what I was drinking. Somehow I always seemed to be in my older brothers hand me downs back then and I remember being in one of my favorite red and white striped tee shirts and light blue pants and sipping on an orange drink..(my favorite back then). There always seemed to be an orange el camino truck parked in the parking lot and I remember her hard white plastic kitchen table and chairs with the yellow vinyl cushions and bright green and yellow wall paper and the super neat and tidy couch and chair  in front of her TV and the dark dark wood furniture. Grandma's couch was always so big,warm,soft and inviting. I loved being in that place. I loved holding her hand walking up the stairs running and  getting comfortable in that big couch watching her move around her apartment. Busy.Me happy.Peaceful.
So here are the beginning drawings of my memorial portrait of Grandma.

I will update with more pics and writing soon.

Artist Feature: Dawood Marion

It was really cool how I met him. I don't believe in coincidence so I'll just say it was fate!
I saw a few wild drawings on Facebook and added the artist. I always try to find painters who use multiple media and was happy to see Dawood uploading ink drawings,acrylic paintings and various other mixed media work. It just so happened that he also lived in the San Francisco Bay Area and wouldn't you know it I saw him one morning waiting for a train in downtown Oakland.
I quickly realized he probably wouldn't know who I was so I took it upon myself to introduce myself and say hello! Always awesome when artists are nice and eager to talk about their work when meeting a total stranger! Dawood and I rode the train and chatted as if we were old friends.
We exchanged contact information and began meeting up to draw on location and talk about art.
Dawood and I both love drawing the human figure. His passion shows through in every fine line,every mark,drip,splatter and smudge. Sharing his work with you is an honor and I hope you enjoy his work as much as I do.
AJ: A little background first, Where are you from?
DW: I’m from Los Angeles born and raised in West LA/South Central.
AJ: When did you start painting ,drawing and creatively making things with your hands?
DW: I started creating and drawing since I can remember.
AJ: Was there a teacher or a person who influenced or inspired you early on to be creative?
DW: My mother used to do these elaborate doodles I remember when she was on the phone talking to her friends. She would use a ballpoint Pape-rmate pen and let loose on an envelope that a phone bill probably came in or something. When she got off the phone she would throw it away or leave it there. The designs were so incredible to me. The memory reminds me of ancient Mayan designs - along those lines though she had no intentions of creating anything in particular, she was just passing the time. She never considered herself to be an artist though.
AJ: What is your training/educational background?
DW: I went to a trade school in Long Beach. One of those schools you see on TV when the person pops up saying "Hey!!!! What are you doing on the couch - why don't you call us now yadaya." I went there for about 2 years and learned digital media - Final Cut, Photoshop etc. I didn't learn anything about drawing there though and didn't realize that until 2 years had passed, so that’s when I decided to split and get into the trenches as a freelancer.
AJ: . Do you have a mentor? If yes who and why?
DW: Yes. I met a mentor at a visual effects school in Hollywood. His name is John Mahoney. I took one of his production design classes and when I saw his drawing skills I couldn't pick my jaw up. His work is bananas!! I think he is probably the best "living" drawing artist of our time though he won't take that credit... I've tried already Ha Ha.

AJ: Talk a little bit about your technique? Method and ideology?
DW: I mainly like drawing from life. Every drawing is an experiment to see what will happen next. When I'm drawing I live in the moment and have no regrets… no erasers back pedaling to correct mistakes. I believe that your drawing just like your signature should be pure and honest. I have a saying "Mistakes "only" add life and character to your work."
AJ: . You draw as much as possible. Tell me a little bit more about that? Why do you draw and or paint every day?
DW: To escape this sick ass world HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!! I believe that the masters who came before us were and are considered masters because that is mostly what they did all of the time. Some were paid to work tirelessly and others just loved working regardless of money. What would our world be like if we never had a Little Richard, James Brown, Patti Labelle, Anita Baker, Billie Holiday, Miles Davis, Chaka Khan, John Coltrain, Jean Michel Basquiat, Micheal - Jackson-Jordan-Tyson, Ella Fitzgerald?? These are some of the masters that fuel my inspiration to strive to master what I do. It is these masters and others who showed me how to be passionate about what you do. Actually I need to research and find a more hardcore word to replace passionate with.
AJ: What made you start drawing people plein air? Or on location?
DW: My mentor told me that figure drawing would be the most powerful tool in gaining power in my drawing. I attended many figure drawing sessions however I found that I wanted to draw far more than just at those sessions so I began drawing on the bus in Los Angeles and at coffee shops. I grew more attached to drawing on the bus and train for a number of reasons: While I really like figure drawing I get bored with it especially depending on the models ability to strike dope poses. I like drawing on the bus because there are many different challenges involved and things to juggle like the movement of the bus, trying to draw a person without them spotting you staring (this the really fun game), trying to capture a likeness before the person gets off at they're stop, Keeping your focus when you have an audience and trying not to show off (that’s when things always go wrong). In Los Angeles it was the bus but now that I moved to the Bay Area, the train is my new favorite.
Video of Dawood drawing on public transit! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDpAGIRTZ-s&context=C3fdb95bADOEgsToPDskIGfWtuS41fB-gHZ1ZeAJas

Please continue to scroll down or click on older posts to read more about Dawood Marion!